Log in or Sign up

He's baack

Discussion in 'OTHER SPORTS Forum' started by tirk, Feb 19, 2009.

Page 1 of 3

tirk im the lyrical jessie james

hefty lefty cant be liking this. I bet it seems just like yesterday the chosen one was hurt.

Tiger Woods will return for the WGC-Accenture Match-Play Championship, which begins on Feb. 25th
Click to expand...

tirk, Feb 19, 2009

#1
SabanFan The voice of reason

It's not like the Porcine Portsider took advantage of Tiger's absence.

SabanFan, Feb 19, 2009

#2
islstl Playoff committee is a group of great football men Staff Member

SabanFan said: ↑

It's not like the Porcine Portsider took advantage of Tiger's absence.
Click to expand...

pssst.....he will this week

islstl, Feb 19, 2009

#3
tirk im the lyrical jessie james

SabanFan said: ↑

It's not like the Porcine Portsider took advantage of Tiger's absence.
Click to expand...

portsider- sweet.

figjam is awesome since thats what the pros actually call him. hes fake but his breasts are real.

tirk, Feb 19, 2009

#4
islstl Playoff committee is a group of great football men Staff Member

tirk said: ↑

portsider- sweet.
Click to expand...

I gotta go with Porcine.

Definitely the only time it has ever been used on TF.

islstl, Feb 19, 2009

#5
tirk im the lyrical jessie james

islstl said: ↑

pssst.....he will this week
Click to expand...

doubtful but even if so, its not a major so tiger doesnt care.

tirk, Feb 19, 2009

#6
DRC TigerNator

I like Mickelson but he was better when he had man teets.

Tiger coming back will boost golf ratings and if he's in contention at Augusta on sunday afternoon they will go into the stratosphere.

DRC, Feb 19, 2009

#7
islstl Playoff committee is a group of great football men Staff Member

DRC said: ↑

I like Mickelson but he was better when he had man teets.

Tiger coming back will boost golf ratings and if he's in contention at Augusta on sunday afternoon they will go into the stratosphere.
Click to expand...

He WILL be in contention come Sunday at Augusta.

Stratosphere, here we come.

Etched in the anals of history. His legend grows.

islstl, Feb 19, 2009

#8
tirk im the lyrical jessie james

DRC said: ↑

I like Mickelson but he was better when he had man teets.

Tiger coming back will boost golf ratings and if he's in contention at Augusta on sunday afternoon they will go into the stratosphere.
Click to expand...

old article on him: oh and he still has man teets. may be time to get a clearer tv. :lol:

Last August at the PGA Championship at Baltusrol, in New Jersey, a reporter turned to a golfer on the tour and said of Phil Mickelson, “Man, the fans here love Phil.” The golfer replied, “They don’t know him the way we do.” It blew our minds a little when we heard this, since Mickelson ranks among the most admired golfers in America. But today the same reporter makes his case bluntly: “Phil Mickelson literally has no friends out there. He annoys everybody.”

Mickelson has earned many nicknames on the Tour, but our favorite is FIGJAM (****, I’m good—just ask me). “There are a bunch of pros who think he and his whole smiley, happy face are a fraud,” another reporter says. “They think he’s preening and insincere.” Mickelson has aggressively pursued a family-man image that is crucial to his success as an endorser. In 1999, when he nearly won the U.S. Open, Mickelson wore a beeper onto the fairway to alert him when his wife went into labor. If the beeper went off during the ﬁnal round, he announced, he would simply walk off the course. Some of Mickelson’s peers, smelling a PR stunt, badly wanted to call his bluff. “Everybody’s saying, ‘Oh God, I want that beeper to go off,’ ” recalls one writer. (It didn’t.)

In 2003, Mickelson violated multiple taboos when he told a reporter that Tiger Woods was playing with “inferior equipment” and that he envied Mickelson’s longer drives from the tee. Woods was infuriated. “You just don’t say **** like that in golf,” says a reporter. (To be fair, another reporter says, “Phil was right.”)

Shortly before the 2004 Ryder Cup, though, Mickelson abruptly switched from Titleist to Callaway equipment. He left himself little time to get used to the new balls and clubs. “It wasn’t in the best interest of the team,” says a reporter. “The only thing that it was in the best interest of was his ﬁnancial gain.” The contract paid a reported $7 million to $10 million annually. “What it did was set up a bull’s-eye on him if he played poorly,” says a different reporter. “Which he did.”

Most recently, Mickelson blew off the 2005 Tour Championship, though the PGA was in the midst of negotiating its new TV contract. One reporter says, “The Tour was trying to come up with a plan that would make the networks happy, so it wouldn’t have to give back a lot of money, and here’s the number three player in the world skipping the premier season-ending event. Other players said, ‘How about helping the rest of us who aren’t as rich?’ ” Adds another reporter: “It’s like not showing up for somebody’s wedding.”
Click to expand...

more hate on nippleson:

Why I Think Phil Mickelson is a Fat Douche

So apparently some people took offense to my comparing Phil Mickleson to child molestors and former Nazis. Maybe I took it a little far, but what can I say, I hate the man. When he's playing on TV I loathe him. I cheer when he hits it into the bunkers, laugh when he sprays tee shots, and yell NOONAN!! when he's putting. Can I explain this behavior? In now way whatsoever. Does this pent up hatred sometimes manifest itself while I'm playing Tiger Woods '06, causing me to yell "Shake your man boobies now FIGJAM!!" after I devestate the field by shooting 88 under par at the British Open? Absolutely.

But I digress...

Anyway, I hate the man. And while they may be childish and immature, these are some of the reasons, because, well, I'm a childish and immature person.

10- Being Dumb Enough to Antagonize Tiger Woods: First he said "He's upset that I can blow it past him now" while Tiger is in the middle of rebuilding his swing, and then Dave Pelz, his short game coach, comes out and says "when he's playing well, Phil's the best there is". Look, I don't like Tiger, so stop giving him a reason to whip everyones ass. Just shut up and play.

9- Inability to Grasp the Truth: Phil turned pro in 1992, Tiger in 1996. In that time, Tiger has won 12 Majors, while Phil has 3. Yet, he still considers himself "the best in the world when I'm on". Keep rocking that gonga Phil, cuz you gotta be high to think that.

8- Jiggly Man Breasts: I'm not saying that you have to be a chiseled athlete to play this game, but at least stop wearing shirts that highlight your goodies. Buy yourself a "Manzier" or something dude.

7- That ****ty Grin: Do I really need to write anything for this one?

6- Wearing a Hat from a Company No One has Heard Of: What the hell is Bearing Point? Do they make bearings? Compasses? Manziers? Oh, wait, they're a consulting firm. That has about as much to do with golf as a company that makes bearings.

5- Wearing a Beeper at the '99 US Open: Normally I would consider this benevolent since his wife was about to go into labor, but a lot of players seemed to think it was a publicity stunt that would rival "New Coke". In fact, most players secretly hoped it would go off, or so they said. It would have been cool if it'd beeped during his opponents putt, and it got him flogged with a pitching wedge.

4- His Wife is Far Too Hot: You know how when you wander around the mall, and you see that smokin hot chick holding hands with some guy that she shouldn't be holding hands with? You know the guy. He's wearing pleated pants, eating a Cinnabon, and talking into one of those stupid hands free ear peices, all the while acting like he deserves the hottie....

Tell me you didn't just picture Phil doing that as you read it.

3- Pre-packaged Children: Where the hell is the photo op when you lose Phil? Do you keep them off to the side after a loss and when they run at you you scream "Not now!!! There's no cameras!!!". I get the feeling you'd let the ESPN crew in each year for the Christmas present unwrapping if you could. Imagine the fake smile you could use when some gave you "Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006".

2- FIGJAM: When the people you play with give you a nickname like that, I think we can go out on a limb and assume that they think you're an arrogant dick. I wonder if when other golfers go out together and he asks to come, they tell him the wrong resturaunt just to get away from him?

1- ****ing Up the 2004 Ryder Cup: Granted, if some offered me $7 Million to play with a different set of clubs, I'd do it, even if part of the deal was to kick a puppy (kidding). But, I'm a worthless 14 handicap that will never see a Ryder Cup match, much less play in one. And likewise, I will never be representing America in an international golf competition, unless said competition takes place soon after a nuclear war, and the other 12 men left on earth have no arms. My point in this whole diatribe? Don't suddenly switch equipment when 11 other guys are relying on you to play well in a competition for national pride.
Click to expand...

tirk, Feb 19, 2009

#9
SabanFan The voice of reason

islstl said: ↑

Stratosphere, here we come.

Etched in the anals of history. His legend grows.
Click to expand...

At least to Uranus?

SabanFan, Feb 19, 2009

#10

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 1 of 3

Share This Page