It's a live tiger, dude. He weighs almost 400 pounds and that's barely over half grown. He has a good disposition and is friendly from all accounts, but you don't exactly pet a tiger. We're talking about a 400 pound cat that doesn't know the meaning of gentle.
MIKE is a FIERCE mississippi bulldog crunching, gamecock frying, gator pulverizing, uga dog grinding, rebel slaying, smokey hounddog digesting, razorback crushing, bama tigger munching, commodore slashing, wildcat masticating KILLING MACHINE that controls crimson tides with one paw and stunt surfs green waves just for the heck of it. He can unmake the fabric of the SEC Universe with one MIGHTY ROAR!!! :geauxtige
Word on the street is that Drew Rosenhaus just got Mikey a new contract with the following clauses added: -will only work on night games -will only work if temperature is less than 75 degrees -will only work when opponent is a top 10 team -enlarge cage to 4x the existing size -add diamond encrusted titanium bars -add 10 throw pillows (half gold, half purple) -$1 million upgrade to habitat per winning season -bonus, additional $1 million upgrade for winning National Championship -once a week, bring a few Ben"gal"s to the Crib for a little R&R -add live fish to the pond -add stunt performing dolphins to the new lake -no photos taken before lunch, after dinner or while swimming
