So a penguin is driving his car in the desert. All of sudden his car breaks down. Luckily, he's pretty close to gas station. So he waddles behind his car and pushes it to the gas station. He asks the mechanic to take a look and find the problem. Mechanic tells him to come back in 30 minutes. So the penguin is getting hot being in the desert and all, and decides to find something to cool him off. He goes in the convenience store and buys some vanilla ice cream. He eats the ice cream and makes a big mess on his face. Finally he goes back to the mechanic to find out the problem. Mechanic says," Looks like you blew a seal." To which the penguin replies, "No, no. It's just a little ice cream."
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, and the statistician yells, ‘We got ‘im!’
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are sitting in a bar. Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux "I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday." Thibodeaux replied "But I thought your wife wanted a new Mercedes for her birthday." "She did", Boudreaux replied, "but where am I going to find a fake Mercedes?"
A 3 year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" Mom replied, "Not yet."
A man was arrested for selling pills that he claimed would stop you from aging. Police discovered that he was arrested for the same thing in 1967, 1923 and 1842
True story: So I'm checking into my hotel and the desk clerk is telling me about the cops being called in the night before. I asked what went down and she informed me that apparently there were a group of people that enjoyed pissing in the hallways or in the stairwells. I told her that it was very easy to put an instant stop to all this foolishness. Quit letting people from alabama stay in their hotel.
