My ex wife told me she hopes I spend the rest ofy life in misery. I said "Does that mean you want to get back together? "
Bubba and Thelma Liz from Alabama were married for over 20 years. The did quite well for themselves. Their doublewide was the biggest in their trailer park and they even had a spare room just for their collection of Dale Earnhardt memorablia. They had the biggest above ground swimming pool money could buy. They had a new pickup truck, almost new Camaro and a Mustang. They had a ski boat and a bass boat. They had season tickets the for Alabama football and even a motorhome for going to the games and NASCAR races. The decided to get divorced. They fought bitterly over all their possessions and they couldn't agree on anything about who got what. But there was one thing they did agree on. They agreed that no matter what, they would always remain cousins.
I really pissed off a Gump by posting this joke on his FB timeline, or whatever it is called. Could not be more pleased.
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist!' The priest fainted.
What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both have to smell it but neither of them gets to eat it.
I went to s concert last night. There was a Muslim rock n roll band. They played their hit song Sweet Home Allahbama
