Tiger's the Bad Guy Now
To quote a friend, after Sunday's conclusion of the Masters: "There was always a bit of the punk in Tiger Woods, but I always loved watching him play, and I always wanted him to win. The whole show was just too compelling. It wasn't that way over the weekend. I wanted Tiger to lose -- and it's not just the sex thing. The guy's just too weird."
I got that opinion from everyone I talked to about the Masters -- men, women, teenagers, younger kids, hard-core fans, casual observers. Go, Phil. Tiger's the bad guy now. He may eventually get past the stigma of his heinous off-course behavior, but I'm not sure he's bright enough to shake the weirdness.
Feeling the pressure to get back in the advertising game, Tiger and Nike conspired to unveil a truly offensive commercial. You hear Earl Woods' voice, but he's not talking to Tiger. It was revealed that those comments, from back in 2004, had to do with Earl's wife, Kutilda. As one scribe put it so well, the ad "literally quotes a dead man out of context." It also seems to suggest that Tiger is one cured individual -- no, sir, no more tawdry behavior from him -- and it's just too early to say that.
So, right off the bat, Tiger made a horrendous decision -- or at the very least, allowed Nike to talk him into it. But that was only the beginning.
When it comes to outbursts of temper on the golf course, an irritable Tiger told CBS that "people are making a big deal of this," and that's true. Swearing and club-throwing are part of Tiger's golf game. It reminds you more of your beer-swilling buddy than the world's greatest player, but that's just how it is. With notable exceptions (see below), it tends to make him even more interesting out there.
The problem is that Tiger, sporting his Buddhist bracelet, claimed to be changing his ways, making two ridiculous comments within a single answer: One, that he was going to tone down his act (he obviously didn't), and also that he'd try to reel back his positive emotions, as well. Sorry, Tiger, but you can have one without the other. And if you're going to fill the air with nasty comments, why not do a little strutting and fist-pumping, as well? He certainly played well enough to do so, tying a Masters record with four eagles and generally staging a very Tiger-like display, especially over the first two rounds.
After the third round, Tiger somehow couldn't remember a couple of outbursts that had come across so clearly over the television broadcast. Asked about it at the press conference, he responded, "Did I? If I did that, I'm sorry."
IF? What's with the if? You did it, for crying out loud. Could you be any more weak?
(Quick insert here on a couple of Sunday misfires from CBS: First, Woods committed the unpardonable sin of leaning over a tap-in putt (on 14) and missing -- a baffling and incredible sight from a player of his caliber. Peter Kostis had to ask him about that after the round, but didn't. Secondly, Tiger insulted the game of golf on the first tee when, in disgust, he let the driver fly out of his hands on impact. So there's the club flying into the air and landing on the ground. From Tiger friggin' Woods. On the first tee. Sorry, man, that's over-the-top petulance. No great golfer ever did that at the Masters, not even once. I don't care if the ball wound up in Tennessee. Somebody -- Jim Nantz, Nick Faldo, whomever -- had to mention what a disgusting sight that was.)
The moment of true disaster, though, came when Tiger said his comeback is "very similar to what Ben Hogan went through coming off the accident. He couldn't play that much, and when you can't play, you have to concentrate on your practice." Whoa, there. Bad mistake. As Ron Kroichick reported in the Green, Hogan nearly died in a 1949 auto accident, throwing himself in front of his wife in the instant before a head-on collision with a Greyhound bus. He came back from an 11-month layoff to win the 1950 U.S. Open but was never really the same, having to curtail his tournament schedule for the rest of his career.
Tiger's plea for sympathy was so preposterous, it reminded me of my favorite episode from "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Larry David decides to have a dinner party, with two special guests: an old Jewish man who survived the Holocaust, with many chilling tales to tell, and a guy from the television cast of "Survivor." As the meal progresses, they begin arguing over who had it tougher! Gracious, what a brilliant comedic premise. And it connects so well -- so regrettably -- to Tiger's ill-timed remark.
"I'll see your knee, Tiger," wrote the great Dan Jenkins in Golf Digest, "and raise you a double-fractured pelvis, broken collarbone, broken ankle, cracked rib, blood clots tied off in both legs, and a Greyhound bus." That was last year, by the way, after Tiger had made a similar comment. This time, with Tiger's post-Thanksgiving behavior in play, Jenkins said, "It's stupid, moronic. Other than that, it's fine. Hogan nearly died. All Tiger did was damn near get syphilis."
So a truly fascinating Masters is now behind us, with enough drama, intrigue and great shot-making to last a lifetime. For a while there, I thought the best pre-tournament prediction was going to be John Daly's: "One thing Tiger's not is vulnerable. I think he's going to come out and just kick everybody's ass."
As it turned out, he's not quite all the way back. He has to realize that he's the bad guy now, for reasons that go well beyond his wandering ways. He can restore his peace of mind, maybe even save his marriage, but his reputation is gone for good.
Click to expand...
