10 Things To Look Forward To This College Football Season

TigerFan23 · Aug 25, 2008

Didn't see this posted before, but I thought y'all would enjoy. It contains some bad language, so I provided just a taste and you can get the rest at the link.

10) Getting into it with 'The Greatest Generation'

'Sit down.' 'We can't see the game.' 'I pay money for these seats.' 'I like Ike.'

You're bound to hear it. You're at a game. You stand up. You cheer. And, mostly, it goes by unnoticed.

Then, at some point, the grey-hairs in the back start bitching. And rightfully so. The way they see it, they didn't see their buddies die face down in the Battle of Antietam so young whippersnappers in zoot suits could stand up and act all uppity.

You pay it no mind. You glance back. Finally, the smuggled sock-bourbon forces it out of you:

'Listen old man, it's 4th and 1. Either stand up and watch, or just imagine the sh!t like you did during the golden era of radio.'

And before you know it, you have General Longstreet's superior officer coming at you with an AARP seat cushion like he's Sonny Corleone by an open fire hydrant.

The fight will rage on for eternity.

You'll never see eye-to-eye. And not just because he's bent over like an on-duty prostitute. Because you're from two entirely different worlds.

When you were in college, 50 Cent was a rapper. When he was in college, 50 Cent was a damn good salary.
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http://www.gump4heisman.com/my_webl...-forward-to-this-college-football-season.html

lsu_mackey · Aug 25, 2008

I preferred this one:

You know that guy in your office, who invariably went to some non-BCS school, that’s more of an annoying cunt than Gilbert Gottfried in a full vagina outfit? You know, the guy who cheers for the impossibly mediocre program yet has unbearably high expectations at the start of every season?

“Man, I don’t know, I just have this feeling this year. If our transfer JUCO QB can come around and the 12 freshmen on our offensive line can step up, I think our brand-new inexperienced coordinator will have a lot to work with and it won't really matter than our only scholarship running back runs a 23-minute 40. Shoot, we might surprise some folks in the [insert conference of choice].”

No, you aren’t surprising anyone. Your team's mascot should be Danny Devito. Your favorite team is a legalized midget. And yet every year you display the same ****-me-in-the-brain hope syndrome.

And last year only made things worse. Giving these *******s the parity-driven ‘07 season was like handing a homeless guy the keys to a non-existant Jaguar. False hope abounds.

South Florida. Boston College. Appalachian State. Kansas.

Thanks Football Gods. Now, dumb *******s everywhere think teams like the Tulane Green Wave are going to pull a BCS six-peat.
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TigerFanNTenn · Aug 25, 2008

1) ESPN will be out to get you.

ESPN hates you.

And more importantly, ESPN hates your team.

ESPN will go to any length to diss your team. Any length. You know that LSU coozie you used to have but can’t seem to find? ESPN took it. Because ESPN hates LSU. That is, if LSU is your team.
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My favorite... I swear to God every time I watch ESPN that they HATE LSU and the SEC.

OkieTigerTK · Aug 25, 2008

lsu_mackey said: ↑

I preferred this one:
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exactly what i was thinking.....

You know that guy in your office, who invariably went to some non-BCS school, that’s more of an annoying c*** than Gilbert Gottfried in a full vagina outfit? You know, the guy who cheers for the impossibly mediocre program yet has unbearably high expectations at the start of every season?
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yep, i know that guy.:rolleye33:

Thanks Football Gods. Now, dumb a******s everywhere think teams like the Tulane Green Wave are going to pull a BCS six-peat.
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:hihi:

If you have a state university coffee mug, this is the time to bring it to work.
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or the breakfast table

buckeye78 · Aug 25, 2008

My personal favorite has to be the "when going back to campus, exaggerating how much @#$ you would get"

Sounds just like my soon to be ex roommate wherever he goes, and he never even went to college.

The 1 UP comment made me laugh so hard beer sprayed out of my nose!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Nutriaitch · Aug 25, 2008

You could put the King of England in a Wal-Mart jersey and he’d immediately be labeled a redneck douche of epic proportions.
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classic!:hihi:

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10 Things To Look Forward To This College Football Season

TigerFan23 USMC Tiger

lsu_mackey Agent Purple

TigerFanNTenn Founding Member

OkieTigerTK Tornado Alley

buckeye78 Founding Member

Nutriaitch Fear the Buoy

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