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Is it possible to be truly happy if...

Discussion in 'The RoundTable' started by lsu99, Feb 3, 2014.

  1. lsu99

    lsu99 whashappenin

    Is it possibe to be truly happy if one of your kids is not satisfied with life?

    I feel somewhat confident that I'll be able to handle most of life's challenges over the next 20 years. I'm a simple man that doesn't require much to keep me happy. My oldest child is only 10 but will be entering those challenging years soon, which seems to extend to about 30 for most young people in today's world.

    Probably my biggest unknown to being truly happy over the next 20 years is directly related to the happiness of my kids. While there will almost certainly be temporary issues for my children to get through as they mature into adults, is it possible for a parent to be truly happy if one of their kids has a more permanent struggle?
  2. shane0911

    shane0911 Veteran Member

    Sure, at some point you have to realize there is only so much you can do. If you feel you have adequately prepared them, then move em out of the casa and let em fly.
    gyver likes this.

    LSUMASTERMIND Veteran Member

    exactly, i understand your point, but you have too be satisfied first with the job you have done or will do with them.
  4. red55

    red55 curmudgeon

    Here's an oblique view from someone with no kids, however I was once a child.

    You can only do the best that you can do, your kids can only do the best that they can do. You must find a way to be happy with this. The universe unfolds pretty much the way it is supposed to. Being unhappy over things that you cannot control leads to stress and depression which helps neither you nor your kids.

    Life is full of unhappiness and your kids will experience this as much as we did. Nothing you can do about it. So perhaps you should try to unlink your personal happiness from your children's happiness because when their unhappy times come, you need to be happy for them. Happiness is contagious . . . but so is unhappiness.

    So . . . wait for it . . . don't worry--be happy. :D
    kluke, LSUDad and LSUsupaFan like this.
  5. lsutiga

    lsutiga TF Pubic Relations

    You most likely won't even know. They hide all that from parents...and very well. They'll talk to a stranger about "that kinda stuff" before a parent. How many times we see where parents find out ALL kind of things after a child (their child) commits suicide? Some are missed indicators but often there was a lot going on that parents weren't aware of. Bullying, etc.

    Just pray you never have to bury one. I cannot fathom how one begins to pick up and move on after that.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2014
  6. lsu99

    lsu99 whashappenin

    Thanks to everyone for the quality feedback. Even if I honestly felt that I did the very best job that I could do as a parent but one of my kids went down the wrong path, I don't think I could be truly happy. Maybe I could learn to cope and be somewhat happy but not truly happy with things (in general) like I am today.

    When I do pray (which is somewhat rare), it's always about my kids or allowing my parents and remaining grandparents to have an enjoyable end to their lives (i.e. health related).
    ParadiseiNC, gyver and LSUDad like this.
  7. lsutiga

    lsutiga TF Pubic Relations

    Parents that worry about things as you've mentioned have a much higher chance of having kids who are happy so I like your chances. ;)

    Now, that's not to say they won't have the usual bumps and bruises. Middle School-aged girls can really be bitches to peers. Boys that age ain't angels either but don't practice ostracizism as much. Boys will get in a fist fight then be friends 10 minutes later but not girls.
    ParadiseiNC and LSUDad like this.
  8. shane0911

    shane0911 Veteran Member

    You are over thinking it big time bro. I've told all my kids my only hope is for them to become better than i have become.. Yeah i know, i didn't set the bar very high but you get the picture. So far only 1 is going to let me down but he was raised by his momma. He has a standing invitation with me; after he has done it his way and finds himself sleeping under a bridge, he can come to me and i will get him right. I rarely hear from him and i lose zero sleep over it. See, if i try to force his hand he will only buck, so instead i set him free to do what he wanted after he showed no concern for my advice. Nothing else i could have done.

    So no worries 99. I'm sure you have done a great job. Let them go out and learn and expand and do your best to guide and coach but not control. They will be fine.
    gyver likes this.
  9. gyver

    gyver Rely on yourself not on others.

    Be a parent instead of a friend. Raising kids is kind of like boot camp. Discipline is very important. Show them
    The right way to do things. Instill morals in them and let them experience all the bumps, bruises, and rewards that life gives them. Give them the knowledge they need to make informed decisions and then let them deal with the consequences of their decisions. Always let them know your there for them. Be a rock for them to stand on and a shoulder for them to lean on. Listen to what they say with their mouth but pay attention to what their eyes and body language say. Follow your instincts and when possible have some 1 on 1 time. An evening around a fire pit, bowling, or sitting in a boat or camping does wonders getting a kid to open up and strengthening bonds.
    shane0911 likes this.
  10. kluke

    kluke Senior Member

    Happiness is a choice. If you want to give your kids the best chance to be happy, be happy around them. I know it sounds simplistic but its true. For the most part they are little emotional barometers and reflect back what they feel from you. If your anxious about them being happy they will be more likely to pick up the anxiety habit than the happy habit.

    And i recommend you should start practicing this from day one.
    shane0911 likes this.

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