Long read, good joke.

Discussion in 'The Tiger's Den' started by Swerved, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. Swerved

    Swerved It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.

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    Boudreaux finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a
    Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life until the boat sank.

    He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no
    supplies.. Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
    gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her,
    "Where you come from? How you get here?"


    "I rowed over from the other side of the island.", she said. "I landed here
    when my cruise ship sank.
    ", she added. "Dat's amazing!", he says..
    "You was really lucky to have a rowboat wash up wit you."

    "Oh, this?", replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material found
    on the island.. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom
    from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.
    "

    "But ... but .. dat's impossible!" stutters Boudreaux. "You ain't had no tools
    or hardware. How you manage dat?
    "

    "Oh, no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the island, there
    is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a
    certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used
    that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.
    ". Boudreaux is stunned.

    "Let's row over to my place, I'll show you more." she says.


    After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Boudreaux
    looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk
    leading to an exquisite bungalow. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
    expertly woven hemp rope, he can only stare ahead, dumbstruck.


    As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call
    it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?
    "

    "No, no tank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take no mo of dat coconut
    juice.
    "

    "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I built a still. How about a
    Pina Colada?
    "

    Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her
    hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
    announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to
    take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
    bathroom.
    "

    No longer questioning anything, Boudreaux goes into the bathroom. There, in the
    cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground
    edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "WOW! dis woman is
    amazing,
    " he muses, "Wonder what's gonna be next?"

    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines strategically
    positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down
    next to her.

    "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been
    out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely. There's something
    I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for
    all these months. You know...
    "

    She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing!

    "You mean ...", he swallows excitedly, "We can watch the LSU/OSU game from here?"
     
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  2. TigerFanNTenn

    TigerFanNTenn Founding Member

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    That's hilarious! I actually laughed out loud.:rofl:
     
  3. Caliendo

    Caliendo Founding Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  4. paducahmichael

    paducahmichael Tiger Band Class of '73

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    Thanks for the best laugh of the new year....so far.
     
  5. buckeye78

    buckeye78 Founding Member

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  6. RHans405

    RHans405 Let's Roll

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    I think it would take longer than 4 months to weave a couch. :shock:




    LOL at the joke by the way. :D
     
  7. TigerBait3

    TigerBait3 Guest

    After four months how did he know who was playing? :wave::wave:
     
  8. Swerved

    Swerved It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.

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    Because he just did... that's how. :lol:
     

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