My 1st two articles

Discussion in 'The Tiger's Den' started by clair, Aug 28, 2006.

  1. clair

    clair Rockets

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  2. Ch0sn0ne

    Ch0sn0ne At the Track

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    Not bad.

    Only thing I ask is why did you write two articles that are so similar?

    Probably not your fault, but it would have been easy to make that one piece instead of two.
     
  3. TejasTiger

    TejasTiger Founding Member

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    Pretty good job:thumb: , though you use the word "said" too frequently, IMO. Seems kinda choppy and unnatural, but that's what caught my eye.

    Also wasn't aware that Jai was part of the returner mix there; I just assumed he was going to be a redshirt, but maybe not-??
     
  4. LSUGradin99

    LSUGradin99 I Bleedeth Purple 'N Gold

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    get the captions fixed in the second one
     
  5. LSUGradin99

    LSUGradin99 I Bleedeth Purple 'N Gold

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    Agreed. Kinda makes it seem more like hearsay rather than actual comments made. Always try to use actual quotes whenever possible.
     
  6. geauxscott

    geauxscott Founding Member

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    I thought the same thing... Was this your choice or do they tell you what write about?

    other than that......Not to shabby!!:thumb:
     
  7. LSU Rubi

    LSU Rubi Founding Member

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    Probably not your fault...but the captions under the two pics on the second article are switched. I know you know better...thats why im hoping it was somebody elses fault :shock:
     
  8. Lil Jules

    Lil Jules Founding Member

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    The frequent use of "said" is correct journalisic style. While it's okay to occationally deviate from it and throw in words like "stated," "remarked," etc., "said" is the appropriate term. Good job Clair.
     
  9. LSUsupaFan

    LSUsupaFan Founding Member

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    You did pretty good on content, but I think the organization needs a little work. Like in one article you wrote a paragraph about Chris Jackson, then start a new paragraph about Colt David, but then you finish the second paragraph talking about David and Jackson. I found that kinda difficult to follow. Also pay attention to tense. You switch it up within paragraphs a few times. I don't know how much of that is you and how much is copy editors cutting and pasting, but its a few things to watch in the future. Otherwise good job.
     
  10. HittinZX2

    HittinZX2 Living to die laughing

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    Everything seemed fine to me. Keep us posted with your publishings.
     

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