Seriously Disappointed

Discussion in 'The Tiger's Den' started by TwistedTiger, Jun 8, 2004.

  1. TwistedTiger

    TwistedTiger Founding Member

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    Doesn't everyone know we are playing the Aggies this weekend? Where are all the Aggie jokes? :confused: :confused: :confused:


    Two fans go into the bathroom between innings, one is a Tiger the other an Aggie. After taking care of business the Aggie heads to the sink while the Tiger fan rushes to the door hurrying back to catch the game. As he passes the Aggie fan he hears him snicker and say "at A&M they teach us to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom". The Tiger fan then turns to him and says "at LSU they teach us not to piss on our hands". :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :shock: :shock: :shock:
     
  2. TexasTigers

    TexasTigers Are You With Me ?

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    They manage to do a pretty good job of handling that themselves.

    Want a joke, go visit texags.com - You will find plenty of vile insults of the people of Louisiana, our school and our heritage.

    Here is a nice snippet of those classy fans.

    "I'm shocked that the inbreeds actually have the internet. The last time I was in that ass-backwards state (last year) they were still working on paved roads, and the English language"

    Classy group those Aggies.
     
  3. lsugrad00

    lsugrad00 Founding Member

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    ok.. these were all GA/GA Tech jokes when I was growing up but it's the same idea. :grin: :grin:

    Q: What's the difference between an Aggie cheerleader and a bowling ball???

    A: You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.


    Q: What's the difference between an Aggie cheerleader and a Catfish???

    A: One has whiskers and smells funny, the others a fish.
     
  4. Tigerbnd05

    Tigerbnd05 National Champs 2003 2007

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    those jokes don't quite work seeing as the aggies don't have cheerleaders, they are yell leaders and all male. Better luck next time.
     
  5. ramah

    ramah Founding Member

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    I got one

    Whaddaya call a one legged Aggie with a wooden leg?

    Answer: **** on a stick :wink:
     
  6. lsugrad00

    lsugrad00 Founding Member

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    Lighten up a little. :dis: :dis: Like I said they are GA/GA Tech jokes from my youth.

    You can call them whatever you want but they are freaking cheerleaders.
     
  7. tygertail

    tygertail Founding Member

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    Here you go....

    Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?
    They're too hard to peel.

    Two Aggies go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
    The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
    As they're driving home they're really depressed. One Aggie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
    The other Aggie says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" [From Jershie's Jokes]



    There was an Aggie that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
    He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
    The Aggie wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Aggie."
    The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
    The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie?" [Thanks to Nikki Ponce]

    Did you hear about the aggie that got locked out of his car?
    He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out! [Thanks to Nikki Ponce]

    A Florida State student, a Kansas State student, and an Aggie had all
    commited horrendous crimes and were going to be shot. The FSU guy was brought up and blindfolded. The general shouted, "Ready ....... aim..." and the FSU guy yelled, "Huricane!!," everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
    Dismayed at losing their first prisioner, the guards brought up the KSU student with renewed vengence. They blindfolded him and the general commanded, "Ready......aim....." and the KSU guy shouted, "Tornado!!" and fearing for their lives, everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
    Well, the Aggie has been watching all this and starts thinking, "They all yelled natural disasters and they got away, so I will too." So they brought him up and blinded folded him, the general shouted, "Ready ...... aim...." and the Aggie screamed, "Fire!!" [From Larry]

    Did you hear there aren't any cold drinks at College Station any more?
    They lost their recipe for ice. [Thanks to Laura, age 15, Baton Rouge]

    Alright there was a texan a baylor and a aggie they were hunting the
    baylor went and came back with deer longhorn said wow how did you get
    that he said I fallowed the tracks boom boom so the longhorn went out
    and came back with a bear the aggie said how did you get that he said I
    fallowed the tracks boom boom so the aggie went out and came back all
    beat up they both said what happened to you I fallowed the railroad
    tracks boom boom. [Thanks to 8-year-old Austin from Austin, Texas]

    Did you know that there are three types of Aggies?
    Those who can count and those who can't. [Walt Crawford]

    Two normal guys and an Aggie decide to go to the desert. They each bring one thing.
    The first guy brings water so they don't dehydrate.
    The second guy brings food so they don't starve to death.
    The Aggie says, "I brought a car door so if it gets hot, I can just roll down the window!" [Thanks to Sherwin]

    An Aggie, a Baylor Bear, and a Texas Longhorn need some money. So they decide to rob a bank.
    They rob the bank and then hear the cops coming, so they hide in the woods.
    The Baylor Bear climbs into a tree, and when the cops come by, he shakes the branches and makes bird noises. The cops think it's just some birds, so they go on.
    The Longhorn climbs into a tree and shakes the branches, and the cops think it's a squirrel, so they go on.
    The Aggie climbs into a tree. The cops hear some rustling and they say, "What was that?"
    And the Aggie goes, " Moo! Mooo!" [Sherwin]

    How many Aggies did it take to unscrew a light bulb?
    1,001. One to hold the bulb and 1,000 to turn the house. [Chacko]

    Did you hear about the Aggie at the stop sign? Well, he's still
    there. [Thanks to Chacko]

    An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.
    His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no longer needed.
    When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal, the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable. Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."
    The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can kept getting farther away." [Thanks to Bedford]

    How do you get a Texas A & M graduate off your front porch?
    You pay for your pizza! [Thanks to Diane in Baton Rouge]

    What happened to the Aggie hockey team?
    They drowned in spring training.

    How do you make a one-armed Aggie fall out of a tree?
    Wave. [Thanks to Spencer, age 14, Texas]

    What do you get when you line up several Aggies ear to ear and blow?
    A wind tunnel. [Thanks to Aliyah]

    An Aggie went riding, and everything was going fine until the horse suddenly started bouncing out of control. He tried to hang on, but with a foot caught in the stirrup, he fell off head-first. With his head bouncing up and down, the horse didn't even slow down. And just as the Aggie was giving up hope and losing consciousness, a Kmart employee came out and unplugged it.

    Why does the new Aggie navy have glass bottomed boats?
    So they can see the old Aggie navy.

    Why do Aggies have doormats inside their homes?
    So they can wipe their feet before they go out.

    How can you tell an Aggie airliner when it's snowing?
    They're the ones with chains on the propellers.

    How do you sink an Aggie submarine ?
    Have a frogman knock on the hatch.

    Why do Aggies always smile during lightning storms?
    They think their picture is being taken.

    A 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery near College Station. The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.

    Two Aggies were flying across the Atlantic and decided they didn't have enough fuel to make it. So the pilot decided to lighten the load by jettisoning some fuel.

    Two Aggies were pulling a large deer through the woods. They came across a longhorn and he said, "Really nice buck you got there, but I think if you pulled him by his horns it would be a lot better than dragging him by his hind legs."
    The Aggies tried it and after a while one said "This sure is better. It's a lot smoother over the ground." The other said, "Yeah, but we sure a getting farther away from the truck."

    How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
    Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

    How can you tell when an Aggie sends you a fax?
    It has a stamp on it.

    Q: Why does the stadium at College Station have Astroturf?
    A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.

    Two Aggies are driving to Houston. The driver suspects his turn signals aren't working. So he pulls over and asks his passenger to get out and check. So the guy checks and yells to the driver, "No, they're not working. Wait, yes they are. No, they're not. Hold it, yes, they are."

    An Aggie is walking down a creek. While he's looking around he notices another Aggie walking along the other side of the creek. He yells to the other Aggie, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"
    The other Aggie says, "You are on the other side!"
     
  8. cajdav1

    cajdav1 Soldiers are real hero's

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    tygertail, thanks for the laughs.
     
  9. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    An LSU fan and an aggie were driving at high speed in opposite directions and had a head on collision. Both cars were completely destroyed but miraculously neither the Tiger fan nor the aggie was hurt. The Tiger fan told the aggie that the fact that they survived the crash was a sign from above that the good Lord wanted them to bury the hatchet and become friends. Then the Tiger fan noticed that the truck of his car had popped open. He walked over to the demolished car and retrieved a half gallon of Crown Royal from the trunk. "The Lord spared this bottle so we could toast our new found friendship." he said. "Its a sign from above." The Tigerfan opened the bottle and handed it to the aggie, who drank half the bottle and handed it back to the Tiger fan and said "Your turn." The Tiger fan just looked at the aggie and said, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police to get here."
     
  10. JSracing

    JSracing Founding Member

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    An aggie and an :eek:lefire: student were looking at an ad in a paper for a deal on a $500.00 cruise. It had an address and said to cut out ad for coupon. they both cut one out and promptly took a cab to the bank to withdraw their school loan money and head for the cruise headquarters. :D

    They arrived and were told to be seated, they would be called one at a time. Well shortly the Aggie was called in and the door closed, he took a seat across from a rather burly business man. The man asked him what his business was and the aggie proudly displyed the coupon and money and announced his desire to go on the cheap luxury cruise. :thumb:

    The big man grinned, took the money, leaned over behind his desk, took out a Lousville slugger and promptly wacked the Aggie unconscious, tied him up, threw him out the window into the river and shouted, "There's your cruise" :shock:

    He then walked calmly to the door and invited the :eek:lefire: student in his office. Thinking nothing of the Aggie :dis: the young Ole Miss Student rushed in and immediately announced his desire to go on the same cruise :shock:

    Delighted, the burly man once again produced the Lousiville slugger, popped the unsuspecting Ole Miss fan in the head, took his money, tied him up, threw him in the river and shouted " there's your cruise!"

    Some time later, floating down river, both the Aggie and the Ole Miss student awaken and realize they are on the same cruise. :dis:

    Ever the southern gentleman and trying to strike up a friendship with his new buddy from Texas, the young Rebel commented on the view, and asked the Hapless Aggie, if he thought the discount price included food on this cruise.

    to which the Aggie answered, "I dunno there wasn't any last year!"
    :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
     

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