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Skyfall can suck it

Discussion in 'The RoundTable' started by tirk, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

    Im the only person on earth who was disappointed apparently. On IMAX no less. The audience even clapped at the end and I was confused. But if a girl likes a bond film then maybe Im right since that's never happened. Or shouldn't.

    Here's the rules for bond movies for me:

    Hot Bitches
    Cool cars/astons
    Cool gadgets

    O for 3.

    Spoilers to follow maybe

    Zero gadgets - A Walther ppk with handprint recognition is not a new gadget. Nor is a radio transmitter.
    Zero new astons - looked like the one from goldfinger. Silver db5 w/ the machine guns. They blow it up.
    Zero hot bond girls. One lived about 30 minutes. Looked like Eva green except with a Whitney Houston coke habit. Glad she was offed frankly.

    Javier bardem, great actor, great villain. Could never be an ex-operative. Was not believable. They owe anythony Hopkins for stealing hannibals role. An entire 30 minute segment was stolen from that movie. Maybe more. And from Heath ledger come to think of it. He had joker mannerisms.

    We saw it Friday, didn't get out til 1:30am. Too long. Last scene was over the top ridiculous. Die hard 5 ish which I'm sure is out next summer.

    Huge bond fan, huge Daniel Craig fan. Oh yeah M is dead and it looks like they are writing Craig out of the role. He's suddenly too old to be an effective agent yet probably younger than roger Moore was when he accepted back in 1970 or whatever.


    Btw, You will like it. I just didn't. Probably because it wasn't really a bond movie-for me.

    No stars just a C-

    I almost forgot, bardem and Craig have a gay sex scene-clothed at least.
  2. gynojunkie

    gynojunkie "Pooties R Us"

    Please say it isn't so! (the last line of your review). I don't think I'm ready for "James Bond of Brokeback Mountain" right now. I am recovering from my disgust at the election.

    Thank you for saving me & my wife $21-$40 (Imax). We will now await the movie on DVD.

    World War Z trailer looking good.
  3. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james


    I said you will like it. I simply did not. It's the greatest bond movie ever by everyone elses account. The scenery in Scotland is awesome so almost worth the visuals.
  4. TigersTailgating

    TigersTailgating Waterford Lesticles

    I never could get in to the Bond movies. Want to see a great movie, watch Act of Valor.
    gynojunkie likes this.
  5. StaceyO

    StaceyO Football Turns Me On

    I'll weigh in on "Skyfall."

    It was a Bond chick flick. Women generally do not like James Bond movies; however, many of us like Daniel Craig (he's hot, hot, hot). Therefore, I liked the movie because it was two hours of Daniel Craig eye candy. Well, except for the creepy scene to which Tirk alluded where Bardem felt up Daniel Craig. That was ew...

    I thought bringing out the classic Aston was a cool reference to class James Bond, but it sucked to see it destroyed.

    I felt the same way about similarities to "Silence of the Lambs."

    Tirk, you didn't like Naomie Harris as Eve? She was a Bond girl, too.
  6. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

    She doesn't count bc she laughed and was cool. There is only room for doom and gloom in the new James bond. Emo aside or should I say emo in play. Only desperation and despair.

    Of course I love the 60 whatever Aston and they rode around in the new jags as company cars. Cool bc they look like Aston Martins as jag-you-are hired the A M guy awhile back. Anywho, she was good but not hot enough to last as ass.

    I can deal with dark, just not bond. It's supposed to be cool and fun. You can do that with a plot. Casino royale did it perfectly. And I let quantum of solace be their mulligan.
  7. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

    I think bardem uttered let's see who comes out on top as he did so.

    Also Craig insinuating the gay love wasn't his first time was awesome. Not. Actually it was funny.
  8. StaceyO

    StaceyO Football Turns Me On

    He did say something about coming out on top, and yes, Craig said, "Why do you think this is my first time?"
  9. tirk

    tirk im the lyrical jessie james

    New world order can't even escape bond. Come on Mayans.
    fanatic likes this.
  10. StaceyO

    StaceyO Football Turns Me On

    Nice...

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