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The wife rant thread....

Discussion in 'The RoundTable' started by LSUpride123, Mar 5, 2014.

  1. LSUpride123

    LSUpride123 Boobies make everything A OK!!!

    SO, I was/am trying to buy my wife a new SUV. I found one that is a REALLY good deal and is a model she had mentioned she liked. Naturally, I told her about it and showed her pictures.

    Well, another mom at the local gym our kids go to has one. So she doesn't want one now because someone else has one.

    WTF is wrong with these creatures?????:mad:
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2014
  2. red55

    red55 curmudgeon

    It is women in general amigo, not just wives. They are like . . . different, you know. Wives are just harder to run away from.

    My friend Omar says if you spot more than four of the following signs you’re dating a crazy woman. Run away.

    1. She hates your friends and loves your enemies
    She avoids hanging out with you and the guys, goes quiet when she calls and you’re out with them, glares when you narrate some awesome hangout anecdote and subtly drops hints that she thinks your buddies are tiny little poop pieces. Conversely, they will enjoy the company of people you cannot stand. It will scare you how accurate this is. ​

    2. She has crazy mood swings without being pregnant
    When a woman is pregnant, all bets are off. Men understand this and give women that license. However, this courtesy does not extend to the non-pregnant crazy woman. Does your girl go from laughing to crying within five seconds? Does she make a joke about fat people but when you laugh, does she turn the tables on you by saying “do you think I’m fat?”​

    3. She has a scary laugh
    Does her laugh make the pit of your stomach turn icy cold? A beautiful woman laughing is one of the best sounds any guy can hear. However, a crazy woman laughing might be the most terrifying sound to reach men’s ears.​

    4. She hates your mom
    You know how most girls think it’s endearing when guys have a healthy, warm relationship with their mom? Crazy girls hate your mom. They consider her the root of all your prejudices and complexes.​

    5. She hates her mom
    Crazy women do not have good relationships with their mothers. Their worst fear is that they will turn out exactly like their mothers. Most of the time, they are already there.​

    6. They take over your Facebook page
    You know how most animals pee in a large circle to mark their territory? A crazy woman will do the same thing to your Facebook page. She will flood your wall with cutesy, humorous little inane comments followed by winky smileys.

    Call me today ;-)

    I miss you!

    They may seem harmless but are in fact none-too-subtle messages to the public that she keeps your dick locked in a box under her bed.​

    7. Her ex is visibly relieved to not be dating her
    Often it’s a tense situation when you meet your girlfriend’s ex. But, is he overly enthusiastic about meeting you? Does he give you a man hug and repeatedly confirm whether you and the girl are still together? Does he walk away from you while singing and clicking his heels together like a guy who’s just been given free nachos ?​
    Winston1, Kal-El012 and stevescookin like this.
  3. stevescookin

    stevescookin Certified Who Dat

    No wife....NEW LIFE !!
  4. LSUpride123

    LSUpride123 Boobies make everything A OK!!!

    This makes me depressed.
    LSUMASTERMIND likes this.
  5. mobius481

    mobius481 Registered Member

    My wife has none of those so I think I'm in good shape.
    LSUDad likes this.
  6. StaceyO

    StaceyO Football Turns Me On

    Let me preface this by saying that I, in general, hate women. I am a woman, but women as a species are wishy-washy, often crazy, and almost always annoying. Hey, I hang out on a website with a bunch of guys.

    But about #4...I hate my mother-in-law, mainly because she tried in many, many passive aggressive and other times outright bitchy ways to make me go away when I was dating my husband. An example: "You shouldn't move up here because then he will feel responsible for you." (He asked me to move up here.) Another: When my husband told her we were getting married, "She's making you marry her, isn't she?" Wtf?

    She also used to say how much she always wanted a daughter (she has three sons.) However, I have given her two granddaughters, and she's seen them a mere handful of times in their lives (she lives in Dallas, too.) She dotes on her two grandsons. I'm thinking that it goes something like this: it was bad enough that one woman took her baby boy's attention (and money--her words) away from her; but now there are still two MORE women who are taking his attention and money.
  7. CajunlostinCali

    CajunlostinCali The Bionic Burro

    In their defense;

    ...and then there is menopause which, carries no explanation.
    lsutiga likes this.
  8. LSUpride123

    LSUpride123 Boobies make everything A OK!!!

    Why do you make us choose? Wont you voice your opinion of your children's spouses? I think so... ;)

    The "passive aggressive" is the exact same shit my wife says about my dear mother..:p
  9. StaceyO

    StaceyO Football Turns Me On

    Look, I seriously couldn't have been nicer to the woman. I bought her gifts, took her out to lunches/dinners, tried to get to know her. Her reaction to me was shocking because parents of friends/boyfriends generally thought I was great.

    She didn't want any of her sons to ever get married and stated it. I couldn't win her over and eventually stopped trying.

    What was not to like? o_O I was college educated, employed, polite...damn...
  10. LSUpride123

    LSUpride123 Boobies make everything A OK!!!

    Is she from Alabama?

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