Ace Ventura: I'm looking for Ray Finkle. A shotgun cocks and is pointed at his head. Ace Ventura: ...and a clean pair of shorts. Mr. Finkle: What do you know about Ray Finkle? Ace sucks in a huge breath of air. Ace Ventura: Soccer style kicker graduated from Cauler high June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA division 1 records one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," The first and only pro athlete to come out of Cauler County and one hell of a model American. Mr. Finkle: Are you another one of those "Hard Copy" guys? Ace Ventura: No Sir, I'm just a very big Finkle fan, This is my Graceland.
Mrs. Finkle: If he had held the ball laces out like he's supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
