A longhorn is walking along one day, when he sees three aggies. Two of them are holding a pole straight up, and the third is climbing up it with a measuring tape. "What are you doing?" asks the longhorn. "We're trying to measure how long this pole is." says one of the aggies. "Why don't you just lay the pole down on the ground and measure it?" asks the longhorn. "Because we want to see how long it is, not how wide it is!"
An aggie walks into a barber shop one day wearing headphones. When he asked for a haircut, the barber said "You gotta take off the headphones." The aggie says "Just cut around them." The aggie leaves that day and comes back again the next week with the headphones still on. The barber says "You need to take off the headphones." But again, the aggie just says "Cut around them." The aggie leaves after he gets a haircut. The next week the aggie comes in with the headphones still on. Infuriated, the barber yanks off the headphones and throws them in the corner. In a couple minutes the aggie falls down and dies. Curious, the barber went over to the headphones and put them on. What he heard was "Breath in....Breathe out. Breathe in....Breathe out..."
A guy walks into a room and sees a bunch of aggie drug addicts sharing a single syringe to shoot up dope. The guy says "You stupid aggies. Don't you know you can catch AIDS like that?" One of the aggies looks up and says, "We're not worried about it. We are all wearing condoms."
You heard about the aggie who locked his keys in his car? It took him 3 days to figure out how to get his family out.
And then there was the aggie terrorist who burnt his lips on the tailpipe while he was trying to blow up a car.
A guy walks into a bar full of aggies and everybody stares suspiciously at him. The bartender asks him, "What line of work are you in stranger?" The guy tells the bartender he is a taxidermist. The bartender asks "What does a taxidermist do?" The guy says "I mount dead animals." The bartender turns to the aggies and says "You can stop worrying guys, he's one of us."
