A speech I'd love to hear:

Discussion in 'Free Speech Alley' started by SabanFan, Jul 2, 2004.

  1. SabanFan

    SabanFan The voice of reason

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    My fellow Americans:

    As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. *Since congress
    does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is
    complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from
    Iraq. *This action will be complete within 30 days.

    It is now time to begin the reckoning. *Before me, I have two lists. *One list
    contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq
    conflict. This list is short. *The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia,
    and Poland are some of the countries listed there.


    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. *Most of the world's
    nations are on that list. *My press secretary will be distributing copies of
    both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations
    on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. *The money saved during the first
    year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
    hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine? *Wrestling with an epidemic? *Call France. *In the
    future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this *money toward
    solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. *Screw with us and we will hunt
    you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. *
    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? *Try France, or maybe China.

    To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. *Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. *
    Just note that Camp David is closed. *Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
    negotiations. *They have some great palaces there. *Big tables, too.

    I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
    Germany, and Russia. *Thanks for all your help, comrades. *We are retiring from
    NATO as well. *Bon chance, mes amis.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
    diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to
    sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. *I don't care
    about whatever treaty pertains to this. *Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your
    precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop
    shops in the world. *I love New York.

    A special note to our neighbors. *Canada is on List 2. *Since we are going to be
    seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off
    for a change. *Mexico is also on List 2. *President Fox and his entire corrupt
    government really need an attitude adjustment. *I have a couple extra tank and
    infantry divisions sitting around. *Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? *Yep, border
    security. *So start doing something with your oil. *Oh, by the way, the United
    States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

    Some will accuse us of isolationism. *I answer them by saying darn tootin'. *
    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has
    only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

    It is time to eliminate hunger in America. *It is time to eliminate homelessness
    in America. *It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.

    To the nations on List 1, a final thought. *Thanks guys. *We owe you.

    To the nations on List 2, a final thought. *F**k you all.

    God bless America.

    Thank you and good night.
     
  2. red55

    red55 curmudgeon Staff Member

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    Not . . . Not World Cup Soccer! :eek:
     
  3. Sourdoughman

    Sourdoughman TigerFan of LSU and the Tigerman

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    quote by SabanFan
    Need help with a famine? *Wrestling with an epidemic? *Call France. *In the
    future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this *money toward
    solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. *Screw with us and we will hunt
    you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. *
    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? *Try France, or maybe China.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The French can't even look after thier own interest much less defend themselves.
    Sorry to display my favorite pic of the week again but here goes.
    Forgive me!
     
  4. JSracing

    JSracing Founding Member

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    Actually, SF i would hate to see all of thatcome to pass. First of all the Israelis and the PO will never come to peace until one of the other is dead.

    And isolationism kept us away at WW1 and 2 when we could have saved lives by getting in the fray sooner.

    I totally agree with takin care of our own business though. :thumb:

    it's been proven though that Isolationism ( see Woodrow Wilson Presidency ) does not work. Ignore the 3rd world countries and what they do and eventually they will become second world countries with a good sized army and weapons, then they will swim up and bite you in the ass. :shock:

    Takin care of home is a GREAT idea. Borders and culture just like Micheal Savage preachs. BUT NO world power has ever survived for very long by being Isolationists. Look back in History. Oh it sounds great and in theory would be. if everybody would play along it would be lovely. BUT you have the Hitlers and the Saddams and other despots that pop up like daisy's all over. You have to get out the old proverbial Lawn mower every now and then and cut your neighbor's grass or the weeds will spill into your yard.
     
  5. Sourdoughman

    Sourdoughman TigerFan of LSU and the Tigerman

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    quote:Takin care of home is a GREAT idea. Borders and culture just like Micheal Savage preachs. BUT NO world power has ever survived for very long by being Isolationists.
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    If you want to really protect the American people who have to get serious about protecting the borders.
    We'll do everything in the world to make us safer but protect the borders.

    All the terrorists have to do is highjack a plane in Mexico or Canada and they could do
    the same thing as 9-11 or even drive vehicles into America and blow up buildings or
    railroads.

    I realize there is a chance that we could shoot down airliners coming in from other countries but there is always the chance we won't get there in time.
    They could also come into this country by train and then blow it up when it gets to
    a convenient target area.

    I don't know, what do you think?
     

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