That is very well said, Stacey. Interesting points, really. Kind of makes sense in a way. Do you respond better to love and nurturing, or someone looking to dominate you? Not a sex question, LOL.

Recently said so long after 27 years in the military, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've had to say shut up and color. And those were times when the situation didn't permit explanation. I'm a big believer in tough love and earning respect, but it doesn't come from rank or position. It comes from setting standards, communicating those standards so everyone understands, and allowing them to hold each other accountable before I have to. I've loved every single one of them, but I wasn't their dad.

I can't get past the sex angle on this question.

But...when dealing with kids...the key is to be authoritative, without being an authoritarian.

The military is a little different, altogether, though, isn't it?

I think in the military, it really doesn't matter if someone likes their commander or not, but in the arenas of schools and teams, there is an element of choosing to be there or not. And it's easier for me to get kids to work for me if they like me. And if they like me, we have an easier relationship, causing me to like them more, too.

In the years since I stopped trying to be a badass, and just am a mom to the kids, I like the vast majority of the kids I teach. It wasn't always that way.

I should jump in here.

Thanks for your service. Which branch? I asked because I spent 20 years in the Air Force. I retired just about the time you entered.

Yeah dude, I hear ya. I was military, too, different capacity than you, but still there are a subset of people who do respond to discipline/tough love. Really, needs to be a balance of both. As Stacey points out, it is clearly situational.

Heck, I'd take that in a heartbeat.

You better believe it, I would, too. That would be our version of the dream team.

Which makes me think it's highly unlikely.