Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by Luv4LSU, May 31, 2007.

  1. msully

    msully Founding Member

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    OLD COWBOYS LEARN FAST

    Sorry this is nothing to do with LSU or Football, just good old BS !I always thought I was a guitar picker but I guess I am like the Old Cowboy. **An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered
    > a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman
    > sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and
    > asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
    >
    > He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life,
    > breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos,
    > fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay,
    > doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats,
    > working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess
    > I am a cowboy."
    >
    > She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day
    > thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the
    > morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think
    > about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I
    > even think
    > about women when I eat. It seems that
    > everything makes me think of women."
    >
    > The two sat sipping in silence.
    >
    > A little while later, a man sat down on the
    > other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a
    > real cowboy?" The old Cowboy thought for awhile then he replied, "I always thought I was,
    > but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. orlandotiger

    orlandotiger GEAUX TIGERS!

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    The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage.


    A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in
    Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple".


    The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.



    The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in
    America ," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona ,and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."


    "We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."



    "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.



    I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that Are you crazy? She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

    "And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."
     
  3. Luv4LSU

    Luv4LSU Founding Member

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    YIKES!

    i guess that was a good one, i just don't know yet ...:yelwink2:
     
  4. red55

    red55 curmudgeon Staff Member

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    A man goes to confession in the Catholic Church. "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month".

    The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven go out and say three Hail Mary's."

    Soon after, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been Two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."

    This time the priest questions, "Who is Nookie Green?"

    "A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

    "Very well, "sighs the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

    At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the Priest! Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

    The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, "Is that Nookie Green"?

    The bug-eyed altar boy can't believe his ears but replies, "No, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."
     
  5. BamaBengalTiger

    BamaBengalTiger Geaux Tigers !!!!!

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    Deer Camp

    The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

    The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

    The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

    The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said.

    They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
     
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  6. Luv4LSU

    Luv4LSU Founding Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  7. geauxgeauxhon

    geauxgeauxhon blah blah blah

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    I like smart Cajun jokes:

    A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

    "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish." the Cajun said.

    "Pet fish?"

    "Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home."

    "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" the game warden said.

    The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works."

    "Okay, I've GOT to see this!"

    The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

    "Well, what?" said the Cajun

    "When are you going to call them back?"

    "Call who back?"

    "The FISH!"

    "What fish?"

    :hihi:
     
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  8. LSUTiga

    LSUTiga TF Pubic Relations

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    LMAO! :rofl: :rofl:
     
  9. Bengal Buddy

    Bengal Buddy Founding Member

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    Is that what they mean when they say "laundered money"?:hihi:
     
  10. OkieTigerTK

    OkieTigerTK Tornado Alley

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    :rofl:

    so true!
     

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