September 16, 2006 (Auburn, AL) The LSU Tigers fell in a heartbreaking loss to the SEC Blind Zebras 7-3 on Saturday. It was a tough pill to swallow considering that LSU had fought back after each sucker-punch call that the Zebras threw at them. Starting with a muffed replay in the first that caused LSU to turn over the ball and culminating with an amazingly lame show of stupidity with time running out, the Zebras brought their best bad calls to the game. The game was being hosted by the Auburn Plain War Eagles. Originally, the game was to take place between the LSU Tigers and the Plain War Eagles, but it was clear that the Zebras came to play. Said the Plain War Eagles' coach Tommy "I'm Kurt Busch's Daddy" Tubberville after the game, "I was very relieved when the Z's took control early. We'd never be ranked number 2 in the country now if not for them. I called my insider over at the SEC office and let them know that their officials are doing a fantastic job. You know, they really get a bad rep, but in this day and age, you just have to make a call on the field and hope you got it right. I'm sure that one day technology will exist to, you know, allow them to review plays and such, but as for now, we just have to trust that they know what they're doing out there. I think the Z's can expect to see a little something extra in their checks this week. I'm going to dock my players' pay and redirect that money to the Z's. After all, they really slammed this one home for us today. Oh...don't quote me on that last sentence...really. I mean it..." Coach Miles from LSU had this to say in the post-game press conference, "We prepared well to play Auburn today. The stats show that...300 plus yards and we held their much-vaughnted *snicker* offense to under 190 yards. However, we didn't fully prepare our guys and that's my fault. I forgot to call the SEC office and request the game-film for the Blind Zebras that called the game. It would have been very useful to know that they possessed a collective multiple-personality-disorder and all needed to be wearing glasses. It's a mistake we won't make again." Turning their eyes toward the next game, the Tigers just had this to say, "Tulane, you will regret being next on our schedule...oh, and the Mississippi State players should start filling out their living wills." In related news, Tubberville announced that he is God.
Breaking news! A fight has broken out on the Auburn campus. It seems that the notorious "Charmin" gang has treaded onto the "Northern" turf after the game. Things seemed under control until an unexpected arrival of the dreaded "Cottonellers" showed up. The real fighting occured when factions of each group began to spar. It seems the "unscented Charmin" group wanted to take over the grounds. Well, that drew the ire of everyone else there...I mean, everyone knows that Auburn fans are never "unscented". Well, the police at this time knew things were beginning to drain downhill and they called in the elite "Scrubbing Bubbles" S.W.A.T. team. It wasn't long until they had all the crap cleaned up and all the gangs left with their colors stuck to the bottom of their shoes (those that have shoes).
First one was good, the second one... eh not so much- good try though! I really liked the first one. It's true.
I mainly added it to bump it back to the top of the list. But I really thought it would be funny if some Aubie fans liked certain brands of TP over others.
