Baton Rouge, LA- In an unexpected move, Louisiana State University officials today announced that scientists in Baton Rouge have succeeded in creating six Marcus Spears clones. The clones have been rapidly grown in laboratory environments to achieve the same physical attributes as the senior defensive lineman for LSU, even though the clones are technically only six months old. Also, through advanced learning techniques developed at the university, the clones have successfully completed all high school requirements in Louisiana and have qualifying scores on the ACT. Governor Kathleen Blanco called the Louisiana legislature called into special session to work on emergency legislation which will allow enrollment of the clones for the fall semester. Bob Jones, Democratic Senator from Grosse Tete told reporters, "Don't y'all worry, the Marcuses will be eligible by the start of the season." He then winked and thoughfully added that he believed "these boys deserve a shot at an education." Congressmen from north Louisiana and the Acadiana area have already voiced concerns over the fairness of this move complaining that Louisiana Tech and the University of Louisiana at Lafayette do not have the technology to create clones, nor do those schools have any players worth cloning. If these efforts are successful, there may be some major changes on the depth charts when LSU reports for fall practice, with the Marcuses walking on with four years of eligibility remaining. Head Football Coach Nick Saban told reporters,"Everyone will have a shot at playing time in the fall." He then smiled when one reporter suggested that an all Marcus Spears front seven would probably be pretty good, saying "You damned skippy." Other NCAA and SEC officials have not been contacted for comment, but this writer expects some resistence to the move. DEVELOPING
I am sorry no one sees the humor here It may be a little silly, but who can deny that having seven of Marcus Spears would be a very good thing for our Tigers. This was not intended to diminish the value of the other players. Tough Crowd, tough crowd.
Capt. Kirk: "Ensign, at our current heading, how close will we come to encountering the Klingons?" Ens. Chekov: "One parsec, sir...close enough to smell them." Mr. Spock: "Illogical, Ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space." Ens. Chekov: "I was making a small joke, sir." Mr. Spock: "A VERY small joke, Ensign." - Star Trek - "The Trouble With Tribbles"
