New Joke Thread

Discussion in 'New Roundtable' started by red55, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    A young couple on their way the the altar were tragically killed in a horrific automobile accident.
    When they got to the Pearly Gates they asked St. Peter if it would still be possible to get married
    in Heaven.

    St. Peter replied "I don't know. Wait here while I check."

    Three months later St. Peter came back and told them that yes, it was possible to get married in heaven.
    The young man then asked St. Peter, "What if the marriage doesn't work out? Would it be possible
    to get a divorce?"

    St. Peter replied "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Just how long do you think it will
    take to find a lawyer!"
     
  2. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    St. Peter needed to run a few errands so he asked Jesus if he would watch the Pearly Gate for a few hours.
    Jesus said "Sure, what do I have to do?"

    St. Peter: "If anybody shows up just ask their name and occupation and get a few details about their life."

    It wasn't long before a little old white hair man appeared at the Gate. When Jesus asked the man his name
    he said that his name was Joseph. "Joseph, what kind of work did you do?" asked Jesus.

    When Joseph said that he had been a carpenter Jesus started to get a little interested.

    Jesus: "Tell me, Joseph, Did you have any children?"
    Joseph: "I had one boy but he wasn't born in the usual way."
    Jesus: "Did the boy have any nail marks on his hands and feet?'
    Joseph: "Yes."

    Jesus threw his arms around Joseph and exclaimed "DADDY!"

    Joseph looked quizically at Jesus and replied "Pinocchio?"
     
  3. KyleK

    KyleK Who, me? Staff Member

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    Dude, Pinocchio's father's name was Geppetto.
     
  4. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    Geppetto is Italian for Joseph. I just repeated the joke the way the Unknown Comic told it on Twitter
     
  5. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    Why is it so hard to solve a murder in Alabama?

    1. All the DNA is the same
    2. There are no dental records
     
  6. KyleK

    KyleK Who, me? Staff Member

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    Damn. I figured you were too smart to screw up like that. I even Googled Geppetto to see if I could find a Joseph reference. I guess the joke's on me! In another thread I mentioned how a lot of jokes just go right over my head. Damn.
     
  7. Bengal B

    Bengal B Founding Member

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    Dude, you have way too much time on your hands. Here is a Geppetto-Joseph reference.

    http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message565947/pg1

    I have to admit that when I first saw the joke and thought about it I wondered if maybe Joseph was his first name. Maybe
    he had a colorful mob nickname like Joey "Puppet Man" Geppetto
     
  8. KyleK

    KyleK Who, me? Staff Member

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    Apparently I don't have enough time. I couldn't find a Joseph reference. That, or I suck at Google.
     
  9. red55

    red55 curmudgeon Staff Member

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    Actually, it is "Giuseppe". Geppetto would be like "Joey".
     
  10. red55

    red55 curmudgeon Staff Member

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    Superman's had a hard week of fighting crime in Metropolis and is ready for some R&R. So Friday afternoon he looks up his pals Batman and Spiderman to see if they're up for going on the prowl that evening. Both turn him down on account of prior commitments and Superman is pretty ticked. As he's flying around the stratosphere letting off steam, he spots Wonder Woman lying on her back stark naked sunbathing on the beach.

    "Hey," he thinks, "I'm Superman and I don't need those two clowns to have a good time. I can just fly down there at the speed of light, catch a quickie and fly away before she knows what happened."

    So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at the speed of light.

    Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?"

    The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but it hurt like hell"
     

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