some corny crawfish and cajun jokes....

Discussion in 'Good Eats' started by snorton938, May 24, 2004.

  1. snorton938

    snorton938 Founding Member

    Feb 5, 2004
    Likes Received:
    some of the following are pretty good.....some are just plain corn......

    Cajun Jokes

    These jokes about being a Cajun are all in fun!

    Baby Crawfish

    A baby crawfish and its mother were walking along a ditch when the baby crawfish who had gone ahead, comes flying back down the ditch. The mother followed and asked, "What is the matter?" The baby crawfish answers, "Look that big thing right there." The mother says "Don't worry about that; it is just a cow." So they keep walking. Then the baby crawfish comes flying down again. The mother asked again, "What is the matter?" The baby says look at that thing right there. The mother says "That is just a dog; it will not hurt you," so they kept walking. Then suddenly the mother goes flying by the baby crawfish. The baby crawfish asked its mother what's wrong, and the mother said, "Run! That's a Cajun and they eat anything

    State Trooper

    Emile was driving his pickumup truck down the levee pretty fast one day. A Louisiana State Trooper spotted Emile, and took off after him, but Emile just kept going faster and faster. The trooper turned his lights and siren on, but Emile just kept going. After about twenty miles, Emile ran out of gas, and had to stop. The trooper jumped out of his car yelling at Emile, "Why didn't you stop ? I know you saw me !" Emile replies, "Well, officer, I'm truly sorry for dat. But you see, a few years ago my wife, Marie, she ran off wid a state trooper, and when I saw you, I thought you was him tryin' to bring her back. So I was tryin' to get away fast.

    Boudreaux died

    Well suddenly while fishing Boudreaux died. Marie send his obituary into the newspaper. It said Boudreaux died yesterday while fishing. Well the newspaper people called her and said you can put a little more in the paper. You have 10 lines. So the next day the obituary appeared in the paper: Boudreaux died while fishing yesterday. Boat For Sale.

    Cherry Tree

    Early one morning, Tee Jean was walking along the bank of Bayou Que de Tortue behind his house. All of a sudden, he noticed that the family outhouse, located right on the bank, was tilting dangerously toward the bayou; the heavy downpour from the previous night had serious eroded the bank where the outhouse was located. Being a boy (and a pretty canaille one at that) and reasoning that the outhouse was beyond salvage, Tee Jean picked up a big stick and whacked the outhouse - really peléed it - and watched as the outhouse toppled over, fell into the bayou, and quickly sank under the muddy waters. A few hours later, Tee Jean's father came up to him and with anger in his voice asked, "Tee Jean, did you knock that outhouse into the bayou?" "Papa," the boy answered, "like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I did it." "Mais, Tee Jean, come with me maintenant to the woodshed. You are going to get the whipping of your life!" Tee Jean was shocked by this turn of events and said, "Papa, when George Washington told his papa that he had chopped down the cherry tree, his papa didn't give him a whipping." "Mais no, Tee Jean," said his father, "but George Washington's papa wasn't in that cherry tree when he cut it down, either."

    Boudreaux was dying

    Boudreaux was on his last dying breath. He was upstairs in the water bed and was about to slip out of this world, when he smelled it.

    The most wonderful smell. Brownies, baking in the oven downstairs.

    He struggled out of the water bed. He could not stand up, so he crawled over the stairway and rolled down the stairs. He crawled into the kitchen and pulled himself up to the counter where the brownies were cooling on the rack. He took one and put it to his mouth. Awe that wonderful smell, that wonderful taste.

    Marie walked up behind him and said, " Shame on you Boudreaux. Those brownies are for after the funeral."

    You Might be a Cajun If.... start an angel food cake with a roux.

    ...watching the "wild kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook. think the head of the united nations is boudreaux/ boudreax-guillory. think a lobster is a crawfish on steriods. think ground hog day and boucherie day are the same holiday. take a bite of 5-alarm texas chili and reach for the tabasco.

    ...fred's lounge in mamou means more to you than the grand ole opry. pass up a trip abroad to go to the crawfish festival in breaux bridge.

    ...your children's favorite bedtime story begins "first you make a roux..."

    ...your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried."

    ...your mama announces each morning, "well, I've got the rice cooking-what will we have for dinner?" greet your long lost friend at the lafayette international airport with "iiiiieeeeeee!" sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means. don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames. gave up tabasco for lent. know the difference between zatarains, zeringue, and zydeco.

    ...your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his kennel.

    ...any of your dessert recipes call for jalapenos. consider opelousas the capital of the state, and lafayette the capital of the nation. think the four seasons are: duck, rabbit, deer, squirrel.

    80 Mile an Hour Ticket

    Boudreaux and Marie were speeding along on the Interstate 10, high rise bridge over Whisky Bay when Boudreaux saw the red-light flashing in the rearview window

    Boudreaux pulled over as well as he could to the side of the bridge. The State Trooper walked up to the window with his clipboard in his hand.

    He axed, "Did you know that you were going 80 miles an hour and the speed limit on this bridge is 60."

    Boudreaux looked at the carpet of the truck for the cigarette he dropped. He said, "Nope. I was going 60."

    The Trooper sounded fed up as he looked at his clip board and said,

    "Nope. I clocked you at 80." The trooper looked over at Marie sitting looking out of the passenger window at the cypress trees in the water. The Trooper said,

    "Mam, I clocked the man at 80. He said he was going 60. Now you tell me. Was he going 60 or 80?"

    Marie said, "I never argue with Boudreaux when he's been drinking."
  2. snorton938

    snorton938 Founding Member

    Feb 5, 2004
    Likes Received:
    hey....if we are going to have fun with cajuns, then guess what.....we are going to have fun with italians too...... :D :D :D :D :D

    Italy Jokes

    Q. Why is it that most Italian Men are called Tony?
    A. When they boarded the boat to America, they stamped To NY [Tony] on their foreheads...

    Q. What does FIAT stand for?
    A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

    Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
    A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.

    Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs?
    A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.
    Den I come.
    Den two asses come together.
    I come once-a-more.
    Two asses, they come together again.
    I come again and pee twice.
    Then I come one lasta time."
    "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
    "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

    Q. How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight?
    A. He's the one who bets on the duck.

    Q. How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the Cock fight?
    A. Well, if the Duck wins, you know they are!

    Francis and Isabella were having their usual battle of the sexes.

    "Italian men are all stupid," screamed Isabella

    "Oh, yeah?" yelled her husband. "I'll have you know it was an Italian man who invented the toilet seat!"

    "And I'll have you know," said his wife, "it was an Italian woman who thought of putting a hole in it!"

    Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak?
    A: Pig Latin!

    Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches?
    A. So they can look like their mammas.

    "Listen, God is everywhere, trust me, he is absolutely everywhere," the wise old Sicilian priest told little Gianluca, who thought about this for a moment, before grabbing a half-opened matchbox lying on the table, quickly snapped it shut and declared triumphantly: "Got him!!!"

    Q: How can you tell if an Italian is in the Mafia?
    A: His favorite dish is broken leg of lamb.

    Q. Why is it that Italy is shaped like a boot?
    A. Do you really think they could fit all that sh** in a tennis shoe?

    Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?
    A. The least hairy of the three!

    Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her.
    "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."
    So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest."
    "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
    So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!"
    "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."
    So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs.
    "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!"
    "Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"

    This Italian bloke had never played golf before and so asked for some tips before starting the game. An American player decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball.

    The American said, "You take this stick and hit the balls so that they roll into the hole". The American putted away and sank the ball from 20 feet in a single stroke.

    The Italian replied, "In America, you leave your sticka outta and a putta your balls in da hole, but in Italia, we put our sticka inna da hole and leave our balls out"!

    A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, "Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
    "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
    The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS...and write on the envelope, 'Now you have everything.'"

    Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid?
    A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil?

    Q: What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 170?
    A: Sicily.

    Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
    A. Usually through the skylight.

    Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna?
    She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!"

    How to Impress an Italian Lady:

    Wine her, dine her, hug her, support her, compliment her, suprise her, smile at her, hold her, romance her, laugh with her, shop with her, cuddle her, go to the end of the earth for her...

    How to Impress an Italian Man:
    Show up naked, Bring Beer.

    A young priest was tempted by sins of the Flesh and astonishingly went to a call girl.
    Being unable to hold his emotions, he screams out:
    "My Daughter, the Lord is with us..."
    "Well, in that case, you're paying double..."

    Q. What's an innuendo?
    A. An Italian suppository.

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