It's a simple three step plan. First, allot all seats, except student seats, to the TAF. The TAF would then sell the tickets only to businesses, the biger the better. All checks for tickets would have to be from commercial checking accounts. Price the seats at least to the $100.00 level. Think about it. 91,000 tickets at $100 per. The businesses could give away the tickets to deserving clients, thereby making the cost of the tickets tax deductible. The next part of the plan is to eliminate all laws against scalping. That way any business that bought tickets would be able to sell them at what ever the market would bear if they wish to do that rather than giving them away. That way they can recoup loses from games that weren't interesting by charging more for the premium ones. Finally televise all games on pay-per view. That way people who don't have big business connections or big bucks for the premium games could see the games. Make the PPV cost attractive but not cheap, perhaps $30.00/$40.00 per game. The profits from that would also go to the TAF. Pretty soon the TAF would be rolling in money. It's really so simple. Man I'm glad I'm a genius.
Why not give the student section to TAF too. When I was a student I lived in a ratty appartment and spent as much time getting rides to the auto parts store as I did driving my car but judging from all the luxurious apartments and condos that serve as student housing now All LSU students must have rich daddys Just because I could get into Tiger Stadium just by showing my student ID at the gate dosen't mean that todays generation shouldn't pay through the nose With all the extra money we could completly remodel Tiger Stadium to eliminate all seats that are not in a luxury box. All tailgating could be banned and the only food or drink allowed on campus on game day would be the consessions delivered to the luxury boxes by Commanders Palace The Official Caterer to the Tigers. Anyone caught eating a hot dog or even seen sipping any brand of champaigne that cost less than $100 a bottle would be ejected from the stadium. So that nobody would risk straining his delicate vocal cords each seat can be equipped with cheer or boo controls synchonize into the stadiums audio system Of course whenever the electionically generated images of the Brittny Spears look alike cheerleaders apear on all the 80 foot plasma TV screens that surround the stadium the individual audio controls will be automatically overrided to make sure that the chosen politically correct cheer goes out over the system. Just to make sure nobody is distracted from the action on the field while they are complaining to the Matre D about the second rate caviar or the stale truffles whenever something important happens on the field the voices of some of the all time great announcers will be projected onto each luxury boxes audio Keith Jackson - Whoaaa Nelly Its a Fumble or Marv Albert - Yessss, The play stands as called on the field and these Tigers have caught on fire in the 4th quarter or Dick Enberg - OOH MY! Michael Clayton snatched that ball between 3 defensive backs or John Madden - You're right about that Al but what really made that play work were the big guys in the middle who don't mind getting a little mud on their jerseys. Theres only 2 minutes left in this game so its about time to pick the All Luxury Box fan of the game who's picture goes on the Horse Trailer this week In the words of Keith Jackson "What a great day for college football"
