You own a pair of English Bulldogs, and you would never consider rooting for a team with a bulldog mascot & they both sport LSU neckwear. You fly the LSU flag everyday along with the American Flag. Your wife (who is not a football fan, hates rain, & cold), attends all home games regardles of weather conditions. Your wife never questions the charges that appear on your credit card statement from LSU AD, the LSU Bookstore, Tyger Gifts, and tthe Purple & Gold shop. People always know where you are on Saturday evening from early August through Thanksgiving.
You've got the hottest date you've had in years, halfway through the third quarter she says "let's leave, I'm bored" and you hear yourself say "Adios, darlin'."
Calco... You can take a crap during a time out ??? You need at least 2-3 minutes to the get the missles ready for launch... Man you are like my wife. Thats a superman dump... Hell I need a time out just to get settled and on the page where I left off in Purple and Gold.
Actually, I talked her into staying. OK, . . . it was more of a begging/bribing thing, but it worked.
Do what I do, bring a friend with you (or brother in my case) and his other (wife), put them next to each other. Stoke up a fire by asking a question like "So Susan how did you get those bridesmaid dresses" or "Man did you see trading spaces last night" Next thing you know they are rambling back and forth like two mexicans trying to talk to the Border Patrol, you and your brother/friend can enjoy the game.. However this is very important, remember it is important to stoke the fire, dont let it die, it is your responsibility to continue with fresh topics. If you let the coals get cold you might have to toss some serious gas on it meaning you might have to join in to get it raging again. Or worse the "I am hot and they guy next to me stinks, can we go watch it on TV ?" this is the kiss of death. Your failure to oblige will cause her to lock up her "goodies" for at least a week causing you to re-live your teen years with the Sears Catalog undergarmet section. Remeber your job is moderater. Be sure to keep them busy with fresh ideas. This is critical to your manly success at a football game. Here are some of my success stories 1. Home Decoration 2. Any wedding - This is good for at least an hour 3. If kids are available for discussion use them 4. Ask her to talk about that "bitch" at work - Always a winner. Be careful multiple use can cause a negative reaction. 5. Shopping - Any sales or upcoming purchases Avoid Diets at all costs. Usually you can hit the mother load and really hit a home run. The cheering will interfer with their conversation on menstral cycles and they will retire to the walkways under the stadium by concessions for better communication. THis is Ideal and should be your goal. Its a win win, you get more space, no need for stoking, and they are happy.
If she got bored at that game it might be time for a permanent separation. My advice is to not get involved with any woman that does not love LSU football as much as you. At least don't get involved with her for that long.
